Disclaimer under duress: Due South belongs to Alliance, not me. I freely acknowledge that. I also freely play with their characters, namely Benton Fraser, Ray Kawolski and Diefenbaker the Wonder Wolf whenever I get a chance.
This is the sequel to "Diefenbaker's Remedy" and it wouldn't hurt to read that first. It may be found right here on my Due South fiction page (How 'bout that?).
Thanks so much to my betas: Kellie Matthews, Cyrsothemis, and AnneZo, who all helped make this a much better story, content and technical-wise.
****************************************************************** It was Valentine's day. No. That was yesterday. Ray glanced at his watch and saw that it was now well into the early morning hours of February 15 and the streets of Chicago were empty . . . as empty goes in Chicago. He sat quietly in his car in the emergency clinic parking lot, playing the scenes from a few moments ago back like a video. And it was high quality video too, cause with the memory came back the quickened breath, thudding heart and arousal. Oh yeah, mucho arousal.
As if in a trance, hands still lying lightly on the steering wheel, Ray looked down at his lap in wonder. It was as if he'd never had a hard on before. Well, he certainly hadn't been hard for a guy in quite awhile, at least. That counted for something. And it was all for Fraser.
"Fraser just kissed me," he mused aloud. There was no one around to hear him or comment on the absurdity of such a thought. Well, of course it was absurd. Wasn't it? His body sure didn't think so. He laughed, and it sounded rather harsh to his own ears, but it quickly deteriorated into a giggle. Then he pounded the steering wheel with the pad of his palm. "Damn."
"Yeah. . . Damn."
Ray glanced up to see if anyone had been witness to his one-sided conversation, then started the car and backed out of the now deserted parking area of the strip mall. He headed home on autopilot, since he was finding it impossible to think about anything other than Fraser's soft lips kissing him…with excitement and relief when it was finally clear that Dief was out of danger.
"Yeah, that's all it was," he said to himself. Then he answered it with a shrug of his shoulders and a drawing up of his lips.
"Tomorrow's gonna be weird."
"Well shit, how do you think Fraser feels right now?"
"Oh, he'll probably analyze it to death, finally conclude that they'd just had a 'moment'." Snicker.
Ray kept talking to himself down Hibernia, across 8th, and past the precinct office from where they'd made their mad dash to the vet.
Once inside the warmth of his home, Ray walked into his kitchen, still somewhat dazed. He bypassed the coffee totally since it was so late and hit the M&Ms straight. A fistful of brightly colored candies found their way between lips that still felt the kiss of one tall, dark and handsome Mountie. Granted the moment was less than ideal…couldn't even be called romantic what with the wolf barf and all.
This reminded Ray that he stank to the high heavens thanks to Fraser sharing Dief's gift with him. He shucked his pants right there in the kitchen and stood in T-shirt and underwear munching M&Ms while running one hand through his soft-stiff hair.
"What was that with the tongue anyway?
"It was a kiss, Doofus."
"I *know* that! But what did it mean?"
Silence. As if his inner voice was saying "Well, if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell ya."
"You're a big help." But the fact remained that Fraser had French kissed him. With his tongue even.
"That's usually what a French kiss involves." Snort.
Ray had kissed and been kissed . . . plenty. He liked to think he knew the diff between a "let's be friends kiss" and one that indicated "I want to swab your tonsils with my tongue." Fraser's kiss definitely fell into the latter category. And he was pretty good at it too.
The draft on his legs soon reminded Ray of his half-dressed state so he headed for the bedroom, replacing his street clothes with a pair of holey gray sweats and a Bulls sweatshirt. Much better and they smelled…well, they didn't smell like dog vomit at least.
Back in the living room, Ray dropped the 1-lb. bag of M&Ms on the coffee table and plopped himself on the cool leather couch. He stared at the candies in his hand and let them fall between his fingers. Yellow, blue, red and green balls rolled onto the floor, between his legs and behind the cushions of the sofa. This was the stuff that had put Dief in the hospital. Well, not M&Ms exactly, but chocolate. Poison to dogs. Fraser's words echoed through the fog created by the kiss they'd shared.
Ray began frantically digging around between his legs, then hopped off the couch and knelt down on the floor, gathering up little truant M&Ms. He didn't need Dief getting any *more* chocolate from him. When he had picked up all he could find and put them back in the bag, complete with extra carpet fuzz, Ray continued his musings.
All of a sudden, the previous night's activities seemed very surreal. The long vigil with Fraser while they waited to see if Dief would pull through the …what kind of coma was that? He shrugged. It was moot now. Dief was fine, if not a bit grumpy from having a tube jammed down his throat. Ick! And Fraser was still there and probably wouldn't leave until he could bring Dief home with him.
But in the dimness of that exam room, alone with the Mountie except for the few other animals snoozing nearby, some kind of…bond had been formed. They'd reaffirmed their friendship… and possible redefined it.
Yeah, that was it. Affirmation of friendship. It occurred to him that Fraser would be proud of him for knowing that word. Everything was cool. Tomorrow would be just like any other day and Fraser would call him after work to see if he'd like to come visit Dief during his recovery and they'd talk about how scared they'd been and how relieved they were that time seemed to have been on their side for once.
Ray brought his hand up to his mouth to pop in more candy. When his fingers touched his lips, however, they froze. His mouth wasn't swollen or tingly or any of those other words you would find in "Sword of Desire." But it was different somehow. Different since Fraser had touched it.
And the video was off and running again.
He closed his eyes and felt Fraser's hands on his face, holding him while they came closer and closer. Fraser's mouth over his, his tongue playing along the lines of Ray's lips, teasing his way inside…the flush of arousal as it swept along his body.
Holy shit! He'd kissed Fraser back. Not just like a peck or somethin'. He'd like, let the Mountie put his tongue inside his mouth and everything. And he'd returned it with enthusiasm and put his arms around Fraser's neck and pulled the man to him…and…
He flopped back on the couch, letting his breath out in a long, low whistle. Somehow he'd actually managed to fast forward past most of his own reaction. That first run of the video must have been defective. Yep, he'd put his arms around Fraser's neck and Fraser had pulled him close, clutching his waist like a lifeline. And he'd been hard. Hell, they'd both been hard. Oh yeah. Just like he was now. But, he hadn't been the only one dancing. He vividly remembered feeling Fraser's arousal too. Right there against his thigh. Nope, that wasn't something you could mistake.
"Ah Geez," he moaned, covering his eyes with one hand while the other one turned five different colors from the candies that he had managed to make melt in his hand and not in his mouth.
**************************************************
Ray was still on the couch, stretched out under the afghan his mother had crocheted, when the persistent knocking woke him. He pulled the loose knit cover over his head and curled his bare feet under its warmth. When had it gotten so cold?
"Ray, it's me." Of course it was Fraser. Who else would knock on his door at this ungodly hour? Plus, Ray would know that voice all the way to the grave.
The thick fog of sleep was hard to penetrate, but something made Ray remember he wanted to answer the door, despite his body's need for rest. The knocking stopped and that was what actually caused him to unfold himself off the couch and stumble to the door.
Ray yanked the door open just as Fraser was turning to leave. He had Dief with him, which made Ray unbelievably happy.
"Ah, you're awake," Fraser said, smiling with relief. The smile faded, however, when he took in Ray's sleepy appearance. "Oh Dear. I woke you up. I'm terribly sorry." The Mountie seemed uncomfortable now, fingering the rim of his Stetson and looking somewhat at a loss.
"S'ok. Come on in." Ray stepped back and let the pair enter. "Want some coffee?" he asked automatically, then held up a hand as he remembered who he was asking. "Never mind," Ray shuffled toward the kitchen, Dief close behind.
"How's the wolf?" he asked, eyeing Dief through squinted lids.
"In recovery, actually. Apparently his size and the fact that his system was already so used to junk food worked together to save his life and accelerate the healing process. The vet was nice enough to let him come home with me if I promised to let her know if there was any change in his condition."
Ray was already running water into the pot and could barely make out Fraser's words of reassurance. He glanced down at the wolf sitting patiently on the rug in front of the sink and shook his head.
"No way. No Fruit Loops, no doughnuts, no M&Ms." Ray tried to sound stern.
Dief whined and grunted his protest to this mistreatment, got up and went to the living room where Fraser had settled on the edge of the couch. The wolf curled up under the coffee table and laid his head on his paws in disgust.
Fraser frowned down at the animal. "Dief, you're going to do yourself in one day with that sweet tooth and then where will you be?" Ray had to smile when, despite the firm tone, his friend reached down to caress the wolf lovingly. They'd come so close to losing him just hours earlier and Ray knew the emotions associated with that close encounter were still very near the surface for both of them. Funny how he was thinking of Dief almost as "their" dog.
His sleep-clouded brain had conveniently forgotten that this same man now sitting on his sofa had held him in his arms in a deep and thoroughly erotic kiss just hours ago. However, the coffee maker gurgling loudly in the kitchen, along with the sweet smell of caffeine, was slowly clearing the cobwebs. Up to now Ray really hadn't been awake enough to react to Fraser's presence in his home.
He watched the play between Fraser and Dief over the counter of the passthrough and smiled to himself. The relief and joy of having Dief with him was plainly visible on Fraser's face. As Ray observed his partner, he realized that the love Fraser felt for his wolf was written so blatantly across his features that he almost felt…envy? Fraser was so beautiful when he looked that way.
"Dontcha wish he'd look at you that way?"
"What was that?" Ray jerked around as if hearing a real voice rather than his own internal monologue. He vigorously shook his head and turned back to the coffeepot, which now held a large quantity of his morning elixir.
Ray was jerked back to reality by Fraser's voice. He was saying something and wasn't he enjoying hearing it more than usual?
"I'm sorry for waking you, Ray. I honestly thought you would be up by now. When I called the station to tell you they had released Dief, Francesca told me you hadn't made it in yet." This comment made Ray wonder just exactly what time it was. He squinted at the clock on the coffee maker, rubbed his eyes and looked again. 10:00 a.m.?
"Ray, is everything alright? I mean. ." Fraser trailed off and Ray wondered if that little incident between them earlier was bothering the Mountie at all? He was acting more or less normal. Ray had a momentary fit of panic. What if Fraser didn't even remember it or think it worthy of mentioning. What if it meant nothing?
"So what?" his little voice teased. "Does it matter to you?"
"Asshole." Ray wondered how to gag an alter ego?
He turned his attention back to Fraser, stubbornly trying to ignore any more voices with an opinion. "No, I'm uh…fine. Just fell asleep on the couch so I didn't hear the alarm go off in the bedroom."
Fraser looked down at Ray's makeshift bed and laid his hand on the pillow propped up by the overstuffed arm. The indentation of Ray's head was still visible and Ray wondered just what was going through that man's mind right now. He didn't think he was imagining the look of . . . wistfulness reflected on Fraser's usually blank face.
Then that awkward silence descended on them. Ray was fairly certain that, male or female, that was always a part of any courtship…when you're not sure exactly where you stand with the other person.
Courtship? And wasn't that little voice turning into the most annoying thing in his universe?
"Shut up."
Fraser looked up, startled and Ray realized he'd spoken aloud.
"Pardon me, Ray?"
"Nothin', Frase…just trying to wake up here. Lemme get a cup of coffee in me and I'm good to go. You coming down to the station today?" he asked and realized there was more than a wisp of hopefulness displayed in that statement.
"No, I'm staying with Dief today. He seems to be fully recovered, but I can't seem to bring myself to leave him alone," Fraser said then laughed at his own words. The Mountie looked fondly at the wolf once more and Ray's heart melted into a puddle of goo on the kitchen floor. Of course that feeling had nothing to do with the fact that Fraser had obviously showered and changed out of his uniform into the civvies Ray thought suited him so well.
Ray wandered into the living room with his steaming cup and settled on the other end of the sofa. "I know what you mean…we almost lost him huh?" Dief was obviously taking full advantage of the nostalgia of the moment and laid over on his side, paw over one eye, doing cute to the best of his acting ability.
Fraser sighed. "I'm afraid my indulgences of the moment, as much as I know better, will only encourage his inappropriate behavior."
Ray laughed out loud, and it seemed to be just what they needed to ease some of the tension, based on the look of relief in Fraser's smile. However, he was silenced, grin still on his face, when he locked his gaze with Fraser's and all of the events of the previous night settled quite nicely right there between them, in that little space on the couch.
Fraser broke the silence first. "About last night…"
It occurred to Ray that Fraser was usually more original than that. "S'okay, Frase. We were…how do you say…running on adrenaline and endorphins and testosterone…and all that other hormone stuff."
Ray expected some sort of correction from Fraser, for he knew exactly how inaccurate his words were, but Fraser was refraining and Ray exhaled, waiting for further explanation.
"Well, I wish I could lay the blame fully at that door, Ray, but you see, I have to be honest…and I've been thinking about how to say it…and well…I guess I'll just …"
"Fraser!" Ray's chain was suddenly very short and he was tired of having it jerked. "Just say it."
"I've been wanting to do that for quite some time."
Whoa! So, what did you say when your partner has just admitted he's lusted after you? It wasn't exactly something they prepared you for coming out of the Academy. And, even more important, what could you say when the simple thought of a kiss has been consuming your every thought for the past nine hours? One thing Ray was certain of…he needed to say something soon, if the look on Fraser's face was any indication.
"Just let me refill my cup…" Ray stood to walk back in the kitchen. When in doubt, pour more coffee. Dief followed him, his nails ticking lightly on the tile of the floor. Ray poured, turned and almost ran right into Fraser, who had also followed.
"Geez, Frase, you almost got a bath in hot coffee. My kitchen ain't that big." When Ray realized his hand was resting on Fraser's flannel clad chest, he backed up a step and set the cup down. Dief whined and curled up in a ball at their feet. All kinds of food had been known to fall to Ray's floor.
Fraser reached out and put a hand on each of Ray's shoulders. "Please…be still," he implored. "I really need to know how you feel about my…actions. I need to know if you've forgiven me…or if we're still friends."
There was a storm going on behind those baby blues and Ray knew he didn't have the time he desperately needed to think about this. Fraser seemed to want answers now. Which seemed awfully strange, since the Benton Fraser he knew usually avoided talking about sex and kissing and all things carnal, if at all possible.
Then it hit Ray. Fraser must have been worried about that kiss all night too, only for a different reason. He was afraid Ray was going to be mad at him. Not want to be his partner anymore. He brought himself back to the moment as Fraser began to speak again.
"I mean I realize that you are a man and I'm a man and…" It occurred to Ray that Fraser was babbling, clearly worried about what he assumed would be Ray's stereotypical cop-like homophobic attitude.
Ray *had* to do something and do it quickly, or Fraser was going to talk himself right out of Ray's apartment…and that wouldn't do at all. Yes, the situation definitely called for action and not too much thought. If he stopped and rationalized, they'd both be in trouble.
So action it was… Ray retraced his step back toward Fraser and just kept going. Fraser was still babbling about what Ray should or would think of his actions and how he would understand if Ray didn't want to be his partner any longer, but his eyes began to widen as he was forced to back up one, then two, then three steps until his back was pressed firmly against the wall. And still Ray advanced.
Ray grabbed his partner's wrists and raised them up until he had one hand on each side of Fraser's face. Then, still holding Fraser firmly against the wall, leaned in to shut him up in the only way he could without popping him. And that really wasn't what he wanted to do right now at all.
The kiss was open mouthed from the get go. Fraser didn't struggle, but rather allowed himself to be pinned as Ray began learning every inch of his mouth, inside and out. He was surprised at how hot it was there and he never knew that teeth could be so sexy.
In record time, the kiss turned passionate, urgent and noisy. Fraser moaned into Ray's mouth, while Ray hummed his satisfaction against Fraser's warm, moist lips. Thoughts of what to do next and what it all meant had no place in this kiss. The feel of Fraser's chest, firm and muscular, and Fraser's arms, enveloping Ray in a secure net of total comfort, just made Ray want to crawl up inside of him and stay there forever.
Ray pressed himself harder against Fraser's hip and groin, content that he was getting the desired result. If he was hard, he was damned determined that Fraser would be too.
This only resembled the kiss at the vet's office in that their mouths were involved. There was much more going on here this time. Ray was gasping for breath when they finally parted, and noted, with satisfaction, that Fraser was too. Good. He'd meant to arouse Fraser. This kiss originated from no other reason than to convince Fraser that Ray had not minded the earlier experiment in the least. No, Ray didn't mind at all if French kissing Fraser caused this warm, tingly current to run down his spin and settle right *there* between his legs.
Ray leaned into the feeling, just like he was pressing against Fraser right now. His mouth reluctantly left Fraser's and traveled around to the freshly shaven neck, licking and tasting soap and astringent and Fraser taste. His partner pressed his neck firmly against Ray's face and Ray knew Fraser, at this moment, was driven solely by instinct. Denim clad thighs pushed urgently between Ray's lightly covered legs, spreading them slightly before settling against him, hardness against hardness.
Ray pulled back first and opened his eyes, curious to see what the cool, calm and collected Mountie was thinking now. He began to worry a little when Fraser didn't open his eyes, still didn't pull his wrists loose from Ray's grasp…just stood there, chest heaving for blessed oxygen, mouth slightly open, all red and wet from their kiss, stone hard cock pressed firmly against Ray's own burgeoning erection.
"I love you."
Ray heard the whispered words and just knew he was still dreaming there on the couch. Fraser and Dief weren't really here.
"Huh?" Only one way to find out, outside of pinching himself and he wasn't much into self-inflicted physical pain.
Blue-gray eyes flashed open and Ray was mesmerized by lips, which moved just enough to get the words out. "I love you, Ray."
"Oh."
They were still very close. So close that Ray could feel the heat radiating off of Fraser.
"Cat gotcha tongue?"
"No Fraser did."
Why did both his voices have to be such smart asses?
Since he seemed incapable of speech, Ray once more resorted to active rather than verbal communication. He finally let go of Fraser's wrists and moved his hands to cup that adorable face. Ray's long fingers curled possessively through dark locks and he pulled Fraser's head toward him, leaving no doubt as to his intentions. Fraser seemed ready this time and they met in a rush of mutual need, bodies moving to some unheard rhythm right there against the kitchen wall. Ray resolved right then and there to make *this* video a keeper. Not just going to be hot stuff…it was going to quadruple X-rated.
Ray barely noticed the snort of disgust from Dief, who was clearly disappointed that this wasn't going to be a very profitable day in Ray's kitchen, at least for the wolf.
It seemed so clear to him now. There whole friendship…the whole relationship had been leading up to this moment all along. He'd been blind. So like the natural way they worked, sometimes leading, sometimes following, but always together…the kiss that had led them here held similar qualities. It happened, they wanted it to happen, so it kept happening. Perhaps long, analytical discussions would follow, but for now, they both seemed content to just follow the feeling.
Fraser was pulling back now though and Ray would have none of it.
"Ray."
Kiss on the lips.
"Ray."
Smooth feel of freshly shaven neck against his tongue right down to the edge of soft cotton.
"Ray." Definitely getting weaker but still full of resolve.
Hands roaming down to cup one very hard, throbbing Mountie cock.
"Ray. Please!"
"What!" Ray finally relented, his voice full of frustration and fear. Was he making a total fool of himself without even knowing it?
"I just need to…." Fraser shifted a step to the side and reached down below his belt…"adjust."
Ray followed Fraser's hands and almost laughed out loud. The Mountie had obviously not purchased the jeans with room to spare for such things as hard-ons.
"Oh. Sorry. I guess we'd both be more comfortable if…" Ray halted, feeling all of a sudden *very* self-conscious about what they were doing. All Fraser had done was tell him he'd been wanting to kiss him and Ray had practically raped him in his kitchen.
As naturally as breathing…as their partnership…Fraser took control. "Yes, we would be," he said smiling and Ray let out a long, ragged breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.
Like a shy teenager, Ray led Fraser to his bedroom. It was still fairly neat since he'd slept on the couch, but he did have to throw a dirty pair of socks and the jeans he'd worn two days ago on the floor. Fraser arched an eyebrow at the slovenly behavior, but must have wisely decided now was not the time or place for a lecture on neatness.
Ray couldn't help feeling sheepish. He tried to think about looking sexy, mysterious, yearning, but he knew all he was wearing was this shit-eating grin.
They stood by Ray's bed, experiencing a momentary period of awkwardness, but this time it was Fraser who helped get them started. Ray wrapped his arms around Fraser's neck as the Mountie pulled him closer by the elastic of his sweatpants.
The two men's hands were everywhere, generally followed closely by their mouths. By the time Ray had had enough of working around Fraser's shirt, he was just about ready to rip it off.
"Fraser, if you want to keep that shirt, you better get rid of it now." Ray smiled at Fraser between kissing and sucking along the long column of creamy neck until he had worked his way to the juncture at his broad shoulders, proving his words by taking the corner of one collar between his teeth and tugging hard.
Fraser swiftly unbuttoned the offending garment and let it drop to the floor in an attempt to save it from certain destruction. Ray plucked at the soft cotton of Fraser's T-shirt.
"This too. Off." He was instantly obeyed. Hey, he could get used to this.
Fraser, who had finally been able to divest himself of the too-tight jeans, was sitting on the edge of the bed, tugging at socks while Ray simply untied the knot at his waist and let the loose fitting sweats drop to the ground.
Fraser froze while holding one sock, with the other still on his right foot. Ray froze also, certain that this was probably not what Fraser had in mind when he'd come over this morning.
Dief's cold nose broke him out of the fright-induced paralysis and Ray looked down at him annoyingly. "What is it dog?" He figured the wolf was pouting over the lack of treats. Well, Ray figured treats were relative in this case.
This earned him a rather hoarse bark, followed by a nip on the hand. "Ok, wolf…what?" he asked impatiently. "What? I don't look busy"
"I believe he would settle down with something to eat…but we can't give him anything rich or sweet or…oh dear. He really shouldn't have anything except his prescription food the vet sent home with him. And his stomach is rather empty from the pumping."
Fraser sounded genuinely disappointed, but not nearly has much as Ray felt. Sighing, Ray walked out of the bedroom and began rummaging through his cupboards, but all he could find were some vanilla wafers, rice, a potato that looked like it was an alien from outer space and a half empty box of cereal. Cereal? He grabbed the box and brought it into the bedroom.
"How's this?" Ray asked, jamming the box under Fraser's nose. He thought Fraser took entirely too long reading the ingredients list.
"That will do, but you should moisten it with warm water first. Here, let me do it."
Fraser stood and followed Ray back toward the kitchen. After pulling a plastic bowl down from the cabinet, Ray turned and stopped when he realized that Fraser hadn't really made it all the way into the kitchen.
"What?" He was getting worried again. Fraser had a decidedly weird look on his face.
Fraser opened his mouth to speak, not even trying to hide the fact that he was looking Ray up and down. Then he gave up and began laughing. A full throated carefree sound which made Ray look down at himself. Fraser couldn't really be laughing *at* him.
"What is it Fraser?" There was a hint of desperation in Ray's voice.
"Look at us Ray," Fraser said, waving his hand across his body, then motioning toward Ray. "Two grown men, one naked, the other naked but for one sock, preparing a meal in your kitchen for a petulant wolf."
Put that way the situation seemed utterly and completely ridiculous and Ray had to join in the laughter. But apparently Dief did not find it so humorous, as he growled and jumped up to put his paws on the counter. With his nose, he knocked the box of cereal over and began happily munching the dry, crispy flakes scattered across Ray's kitchen floor.
When both of them regained control, Ray had one arm around Fraser, holding him up since he was threatening to keel over from laughter. They both leaned against the pillar at the corner of Ray's kitchen, with the occasional giggle escaping Fraser's lips.
"I guess this isn't really what you expected when you came over here, is it?" Ray finally asked, resting one shoulder on the wall and crossing his arms over his chest. He tried valiantly not to think just how silly he looked.
Fraser quite chuckling and his look softened. And Ray knew that look. It was very similar to the one his mother gave him when he confessed his guilt for some crime, real or imagined, against Kowalski house rules. It was the look that said, no matter what you do or what you say, I will always love you. He liked that look.
"Not in the least…it turned out much better. It is a day I will remember always."
Ray felt his face grow warm with emotion or embarrassment and rolled his shoulder off the wall and approached his partner. "There can be more like it, ya know. I guess all we had to do was find a reason to make our move, huh?"
Ray looked at Dief, now licking the empty floor and leaving great big wet spots all over the linoleum, and smiled. "I owe you one, wolf," and he turned Fraser back toward the bedroom, intent on finishing what Dief had interrupted.
The end
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