Meghan Black, c. 1999

This is a self-indulgent piece inspired by listening to Tara McLean at work. That'll teach me. It's a 'missing scene' for Call of the Wild somewhere between the ending and tag when Fraser and Ray head off together. Plus, I figured it was good practice for Ray's POV, which I struggle with constantly. Thanks to Kellie for a quick beta and making me change the ending.

Alliance has all rights to the Due South characters and concept. So I'm a claim jumper...Archive? Yep, just let me know where.

Rated PG for declarations of love between two men.

The day had been long, exhilarating, exhausting and finally, peaceful. Mounties set up camp for them and the smell of some sort of meat stewing over the fire wafted between tents and horses to make Ray's mouth water. No doubt that's where the wolf was, since Ray hadn't seen him for hours.

He peered into the darkness, beginning to get worried about Fraser. The Mountie wanted to make sure the horse he'd ridden earlier was bedded down, so Ray had left Fraser to his solitary duties and gone back to the warm campfire. Now, an hour later, it was full dark, cold enough to dull the feeling in his fingers if he didn't hold them over the fire, and still no sign of Fraser.

Ray mumbled something to himself about not being able to leave his partner unattended, rubbed his hands together and was just hefting himself up from the camp stool when the figure of Fraser came into view, the fire casting a huge shadow behind him.

"Was beginning to wonder if you'd ridden off into the sunset with that horse," Ray said, settling back down by the warmth.

Fraser didn't respond to the quip, but rather seated himself on the twin to Ray's stool. This caused Ray to swing his gaze around expectantly. He was surprised to see how tired Fraser looked. They'd been together for months, through thick and thin, pirates and voodoo priests, but he didn't think he'd ever seen Fraser look so...weary. His concern was instant.

"What's the matter?" Ray was honestly confused. All in all it had been a very productive day and the good guys had won. Not much more you could ask for as a cop. Plus, they were in Canada. That alone should have had Fraser dancing in the snow.

He'd expected Fraser to be in his element here, in this cold, barren, white landscape that surrounded them. Just the sort of thing Fraser always talked about missing when they'd sat companionably in front of a makeshift fire in the Chicago parks. But, Fraser didn't seem to care that he was actually *home*. There was something definitely going on in that beautiful head.

Yes, beautiful. Ray had gotten used to the idea that he was attracted to Fraser. And mostly kept it filed in the drawer with missed opportunities, regrets and wishful thinking. But, as realistic as Ray was able to be with himself regarding the Mountie, he couldn't help the occasional caught breath when Fraser walked into a room, all polished and shining, even in his civvies. Or when Ray could be the cause of the rare brilliant smile that Fraser would bestow upon him, a prize for his quick wit or soft heart.

But the smile seemed to have gone back to Chicago, leaving Fraser's brow drawn tight in deep thought as he stared into the fire. Ray thought the shadows cast by the flame made Fraser look even more like some perfect marble statue and had to stop himself from reaching out to see just how smooth and cool Fraser's skin might be if he touched him.

"Frase?" Ray prompted once more, his voice clearly showing the worry he felt inside. Ray could see his breath linger between them for just an instant. It had *almost* reached Fraser before dissipating in the crisp air, misting down to the hard packed snow.

Fraser twisted his neck in a quick jerk which resulted in a loud crack. "Yes, Ray...I was just thinking...well, wondering actually." Fraser continued to look into the fire, seemingly mesmerized by the crackling tongues of orange and yellow and blue. Ray thought he would have to jump start him again when that low, melodic voice continued.

"Do you believe that love...a true love can last even after death?"

Whatever Ray had been expecting, he would have bet a year's wages this was *not* what was gonna come out of the Mountie's mouth.

"Sure," Ray said, surprising even himself. Why, he wasn't sure. Hell, he'd told Fraser he believed in love at first sight. Love after life seemed just as likely, he figured. "I mean if you finally find that person you just can't live without...you know...who completes you...defines you...I don't guess you'd let something like death separate ya, huh?" Surely, this was as profound a state as Stanley Ray Kowalski had ever attained.

This conversation was just too weird. The words he'd just spoken eerily followed the path of his own thoughts over the past few days. Thoughts he'd tried to put into words several times, but had either been interrupted or lost somewhere in reality.

Ray had realized this was exactly how he felt about Fraser. Together they seemed more complete than apart. A better whole of two halves. At least Ray felt that way. He wondered just how Fraser felt about being *his* partner. Would he be glad to get back to Chicago, perhaps pick up his old partnership with the real Ray Vecchio? Ray found the idea almost unbearable. Life without Fraser would leave one helluva hole inside.

When Ray turned his head from the fire and chanced a look at Fraser again, he found those smoky blue eyes riveted on him.

"What?!" he asked, almost defensively. "If you don't like my answer you shouldn't have asked?"

Fraser shook his head and smiled for the first time that evening. "No, that's not it at all, Ray. I just find it most interesting that you should feel so strongly about something ...." when he hesitated, Ray filled in the blank.

"About somethin' I don't know nothin' about?" With a roll of his shoulder, Ray returned his gaze to the fire and poked at it with the stick he'd been using to stir it back to life.

He heard a gasp beside him. "No Ray, not at all. It's just you're always so...practical. I guess I never thought you put much store in ephemeral concepts such as eternal love, even unto death. But I should have known...my mistake."

Fraser reached out and laid a hand on Ray's arm, stilling the jerky movement he was making with the fire stick. "Please, I meant no offense. I've just been thinking about things...my life...my Dad...and the love he had for my mother, even though I never thought of them as...soulmates." Fraser paused and licked his lips before turning back to the fire, but leaving his hand on Ray's arm. "I've recently come to understand what that kind of love can mean."

Ray wasn't sure where this was going, but his heart was beginning to race with the possibilities the conversation had presented. He knew he was setting himself up for some major disappointment here, yet the thought of missing yet another chance at happiness made his mouth dry and his pulse pound.

His mind jumped ahead to the near future, when it would be time to make a decision. Return to Chicago...to the life he'd been trying to escape when the opportunity to join the 27th got dropped in his lap? All of a sudden that didn't seem like an option at all. Not if Fraser wasn't part of the picture.

The pressure of Fraser's hand on his arm was comforting and natural. Ray could have sat there in silence, the dull background sounds of camplife and the soft crackling sound of the fire the only accompaniment to the still night. But he was afraid. Afraid the way he'd always been afraid of life. Afraid of winning Stella, afraid of losing Stella, afraid he wasn't a good cop, afraid to talk to his Dad...afraid to tell Fraser how he felt...and then of losing him. Not a thought he could entertain for long.

Well, he wasn't going to be afraid any longer. What'd he have to lose anyway?

"You ever...you ever think you'll find a love like that?" It was a reasonable question, right? What with the topic of conversation and all, why wouldn't Ray be curious as to what had brought about this train of thought?

Fraser sighed and shifted on his stool, facing Ray...forcing Ray to turn also. "It was a dream of mine once...but it seemed that was not something life was going to offer me."

Ray's heart crashed and burned. He shouldn't be surprised. So lost was he in disappointment, however, that he almost missed Fraser's next words.

"...until recently when I began to realize just how I felt about...about you, Ray."

His name brought Ray back to the here and now, but he had no idea where Fraser had been headed.

"Huh?" That Ray Kowalski...such a brilliant boy.

Fraser cleared his throat and Ray felt compelled to pay attention this time. How could he not take every opportunity to look into those kind, blue eyes...that gentle, calm face? Who knew how much longer they had together?

"I said I've come to realize that I feel very...deeply for you...more than a partner. More than a friend."

That fire must be making more noise than he realized, Ray thought. He could have sworn...

"And I didn't want you to go back to Chicago without knowing that I...well, how I felt."

The whole world seemed to sit still and hold its breath, waiting for Ray's reaction as Fraser's words sank in. Ray noticed the hand on his arm had tightened. Gently he pulled his arm from under Fraser's touch, letting the sleeve of his jacket slide beneath Fraser's warm hand. When bare flesh met gloved fingers, Ray clasped Fraser's hand in his, trying to communicate his feelings through pure touch. Impatiently, he yanked his hand away quickly, divested it of the glove and returned it to be engulfed in Fraser's warmth.

He'd touched Fraser before...there was always the opportunity for a slap on the shoulder, a mock punch in the arm, even the occasional hug. But never had their touch seemed so intimate as it did now.

"I'm not sure where you're going with this, Frase, but I gotta tell you before we take off...I don't want to leave you, Fraser." Well, that hadn't been *quite* as hard as he thought and the fear that had clinched his stomach up like a ball of doughy paste relaxed a bit. But Ray knew there was more to say. He rushed on before the courage he'd managed to screw up decided to take a vacation.

"Whether you come back to Chicago or I stay. What we got...it's too good to end it here." There. And the earth hadn't opened up and swallowed him either. Fraser's words had made him brave and Ray exhaled softly as he reached up to touch Fraser's cheek, all pink from the northern cold.

Fraser practically beamed. He leaned into Ray's touch, then turned to rest his lips against the cold palm of Ray's hand. Not a kiss, but a simple gesture of love and affection. Ray's eyes closed in bliss. But Fraser wasn't done yet.

"Likewise, I don't wish to end our time together." Fraser seemed to drift off to another place as he released Ray's hand and returned his gaze to the fire, seeming to see something Ray could only imagine. "My parents...they seemed to have this connection...a love I never really knew existed. Certainly partly due to the fact that my mother died when I was so young, but also because I didn't think my dad capable of such depth of feeling."

Ray watched Fraser talk animatedly, his hands moving and his head tilting as he tried to get to the point. It made Ray warm inside that he knew his Fraser so well.

"Over the past few years, I've come to know him better...through his journals, of course," Fraser said, looking over at Ray. Ray nodded. "Then today...in the mine..." Fraser suddenly stopped and Ray wanted to prod him on, but something about the look in Fraser's face told him this wasn't the time.

The Mountie shook his head, as if clearing cobwebs and seemed to relax a bit back onto his stool. "Anyway, it seems I've come to understand myself better through our experiences and then while seeing to the horses, I realized I couldn't let you go back to Chicago without letting you know."

"Know what?" Ray squinted through the darkness, wanting so much to understand what Fraser was trying to tell him.

"That I love you."

"Oh. Wow." Ray blew out a long breath, loudly. "Well..." He toyed with the idea of drawing this out...making Fraser tell him just how much he loved him, but the anguished look on Fraser's face of waiting for Ray's reaction told Ray he should put the man out of his misery.

"That's what I was trying to tell ya earlier I guess. I love you too."

Neither of them seemed to have adequate words to follow such heartfelt declarations. Anything else seemed superfluous. Fraser's words...he'd told Ray he loved him. Wasn't everything else a minor point? So what if they froze in these positions.

But, as much as Ray was basking in the glow of recent revelations, the chill was seeping past the many layers he wore until he shivered involuntarily.

"You're cold," Fraser observed, seemingly immune himself to the climate around them. "Let me warm you."

So simple a statement. So full of meaning. Ray could feel the crooked smile he used to think was his best feature and squeezed Fraser's hand before letting it go.

"What'd you have in mind?" Ray's heart was beating erratically again and he felt the familiar rush of adrenaline. He had no idea how fast or slow things were going to move from here.

As innocent as ever Fraser explained the practical solution of zipping their sleeping bags together to preserve warmth. He was just starting to explain how fast the human body looses heat when Ray covered that beautiful mouth with his hand.

"Wait..." he said, laughing. "That sounds great. Sounds cool. We can do that." And he pulled Fraser up so they could head into the shelter...to share a bed, makeshift as it was.

Ray poked at the fire one last time, beating the last flare of life into it before they retired. It was too late to play coy and he didn't really want to anyway. He stomped his feet to bring circulation back, then turned to Fraser, that silly grin still plastered on his face, this time tinged with mischief he couldn't resist.

"Besides, it beats the hell out of swinging from the side of a mountain."

If Fraser even half suspected how scared Ray had been that they would be parted forever, knew his partner as well as Ray suspected he did, he would have also recognized the false bravado Ray used to hide behind in times of stress. And Ray was sure he did. Fraser's look of reassurance and warmth was unmistakable as they headed for the shelter.

Blood thrummed through Ray's now very warm body at just the thought of sharing a close space with Fraser. Fraser dressed in nothing but those red longjohns was enough to thaw the bone chilling frost.

He wasn't sure what Fraser would expect from him now, but he was damned sure what he wanted. Ray had been thinking of the beautiful Ben Fraser touching him and being touched by him forever it seemed. He'd quit analyzing his desire for the Mountie long ago, avoidance having always worked well for him in the past. Since Ray had never, not even in his dreams, expected his desire to come to any sort of fruition, it had been moot anyway.

Chancing a sidelong glance at Fraser, however, just reaffirmed that the conversation by the fire had indeed occurred and the feeling was mutual at least in that department. Fraser was flushed now, and Ray didn't think it was the cold or the fire...at least he hoped not.

"Let's go talk about our future, Ben," Ray said, close to Fraser's ear, liking the way his partner's first name sounded on his lips.

Fraser's hand tightened in Ray's and he turned to him with a perfect lover's smile. "Yes, Ray...our future."

Ray had already climbed into the tent and Fraser was halfway through the flap when Ray thought he heard his partner turn back into the night and mutter a thank you...possibly to the starry night under which they'd come together.

The End


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